my journey with truth

May 7, 1997

Posted on: November 9, 2010

Dear Beatrice,

Sorry I haven’t written in a very long time.  I’m just gonna tell things going on right now.  Well, Kelly and I are becoming closer day by day.  We got crosses for confirmation.  Now, to update you on guys.  I am completely and totally in love with Blake Cash and Brett Hairston!  Blake has eyelashes that make you go ooooo, lips that are perfect, and if he doesn’t have his popular attitude he is nice to me.  Brett is just like a dream!  He is hilarious and he is so incredibly cute.  He talked to me, and on last Sunday I went with Kelly to the baseball fields in Oak Hill for one of Brian’s games.  Brett was there.  He was in tight baseball pants and his Colorado Rockies shirt (that’s the team he’s on).  He had on sunglasses and his hat on backwards.  He was sitting about ten feet in front of Kelly and me. The only thing is I know that I could never have a chance of just coming into one of their minds as someone they like.  I’m too fat, ugly, bookish, unpopular, and just not someone anyone would want to go out with except for people like ______ ______ (not that I have anything against him).  I still like Peter.  Peter is probably my best friend.  Peter is Perfect.  I think that this summer I can lose some weight.  I really want to.  By the way, Rachel is officially going out with Ryan.  They started April 1.  Oh!  I got Molly in our musical at church.  I also like a guy named Charles Keenan.  But I’m not as serious about him.  My favorites have changed a bit.  Emma Thompson is still my favorite actress.  Tom Cruise and Harrison Ford are tied.  So are several of Garth Brooks’s hits with “Strawberry Wine.”  Book – All of the Tamora Pierce books.  Movie – Much Ado About Nothing is tied with Emma and The Devil’s Own and I kinda like The Saint.  Boy(s) – B.C., B.H., P.Y., C.K.  Yesterday night I had a band concert.  We played La Bomba, A Whole New World, and Stand By Me.  I guess I oughta work on HW.  I’ll might [sic] write to you tomorrow.

Lizzie : )

It’s really hard not to be really sad while I read this post.  And no, I’m not talking just about all the glaring grammatical errors.  I was 12 years old and talking about losing weight over the summer.  12 years old.  And believe me, I’d already started a healthy (unhealthy) habit of lying about my weight at this point.  I can remember one of my fifth grade classmates asking everyone how much they weighed.  I think everyone around me was between 80 and 100 pounds.  I was probably 120, so I coolly replied I was 105.  I thought that would be appropriately high enough to acknowledge that I was bigger than most sitting there without admitting to the horrific truth.  No one was fooled.

This past Friday I was in San Antonio for a physical related to candidacy/ordination for the UMC.  I weigh 174 lbs.  I hope that’s not horrifying for you.  It’s not horrifying for me.  Though I’m not going to pretend I don’t plan to lose some weight before the semester ends.  At least, I really want to.

(Let’s be real, there are some pretty funny moments in this post, too.  “Eyelashes that make you go ooooo.”  Hilarious.)


1 Response to "May 7, 1997"

That post made me really sad too. Mostly because I want to take young Lizzie by the shoulders and shake her (gently?) into sublime realization that she is a precocious firecracker who deserves 1000 Blake Cashes.

though I don’t like to mess with time travel as we might not have become friends.

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  • None
  • myjourneywithtruth: i had it in my office at my internship in Corpus Christi two summers ago. ellen davis is brilliant and glows with an aura of holy.
  • amy h: i love this quote. i think i may need it hanging on my wall where i'll see it daily. perhaps in front of the toilet? by the door? bedside table? i'll
  • chaz: That post made me really sad too. Mostly because I want to take young Lizzie by the shoulders and shake her (gently?) into sublime realization that sh


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